i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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