oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
