we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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