you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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