I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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