But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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