we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
