ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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