Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
