And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize