I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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