She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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