Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
