great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it's like iHOP with fire
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
