Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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