I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize