so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
