it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
