R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am spending my child support on dildos
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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