I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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