i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
