Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
