I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
