That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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