you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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