Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
did i walk over a car last night?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
