i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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