you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
