I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
