Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
