you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
