I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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