your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
