seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
