I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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