He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
