should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
