who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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