can we get nightvision for the apartment?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
