had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
