I'm going to jail i love you
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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