The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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