still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
