I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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