Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
