last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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