just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
