Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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