whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
