I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
