Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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