I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
