Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
