I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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