Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
