I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
